She suffered a slight stroke a few years ago which rendered her totally annoying." –Dorothy
“Oh, blow it out your Tubenburbles!” –Rose. "I feel like crawling under the covers and eating a box of Velveeta." -Rose. Rose: Where are you going? Dorothy: To get ice cream or commit a felony. "Want a glass of water to wash down your foot?" -Sophia. She just doesn't like to show it." -Dorothy And so are you in anything backless." -Sophia "Jealousy is a very ugly thing, Dorothy. "No matter how bad things get, remember these sage words: You're old, you sag, get over it." -Sophia. "Have I given you any indication that I care?" -Sophia. Dorothy: You know what your trouble is? Blanche: Of course not. "No! No, I will not have a nice day!" -Dorothy. Dorothy: Okay, I'm positive you're lying. Dorothy: Ma, I have a feeling you're lying. “Stanley, you’re one chromosome away from being a potato.” –Dorothy. "Rose, honey…have you been washing the fruit off before you eat it?" –Dorothy. "I think there’s a connection between your brain and wallpaper paste." –Sophia. It’s not my fault my cousins have been marrying each other for generations.” –Rose But honey, if you don’t take a chance, nothing happens.” –Dorothy “The bottom line is, in life, sometimes good things happen, sometimes bad things happen. 
“You know what they say: You can lead a herring to water, but you have to walk really fast or he’ll die.” –Rose. I thought since you look like Yoda you were also wise.” –Blanche “Why do blessings wear disguises? If I were a blessing, I’d run around naked.” –Sophia. Rose: Can I ask a dumb question? Dorothy: Better than anyone I know. "Tell me the truth: Do these glasses make me look stupid?" -Rose. "It's like life is a giant weenie roast, and I'm the biggest weenie." -Rose. I keep worrying that I left my car windows down. Dorothy: Is it working? Rose: Not really. Dorothy: Rose, what are you listening to? Rose: A relaxation tape. Sigmund's Day without the headless boy." -Rose Olaf-Christmas without fruitcake is like St. Me, I just drink whatever's in the glass." -Sophia 
"People waste their time pondering whether a glass is half empty or half full.
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